Mentors, Role Models and Positive Influences

(This blog was originally posted on July 2, 2014)

    While I was trying to come up with a topic for today’s blog, two quotes popped into my mind: “What would Brian Boitano do?” and, “We stand on the shoulders of giants.” The first is a reference to DVDA’s song about the 1988 Olympic champion figure skater; among other things, the lyrics assert that Boitano would “make a plan, and he'd follow through, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!” (As I recall, the title of this song took on a life of its own for a while, whereby people would jokingly speculate what the skater would do to solve their dilemma.) The second quote is from Sir Isaac Newton, who credited the scientific discoveries of his predecessors in facilitating his own success. So tonight I took stock of Mr. Boitano’s projected response to a situation and took a loving look at some of the people who have inspired me on my journey through life.

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• Mr. Roland. He was one of my history teachers in high school, and probably one of the best at what he did. I remember more of the information he taught than any other teacher because he was such a good story-teller. Every lesson was like taking a step back in time and walking down the streets or across the battlefields that he described. He was very strict and terrified most of his students (including me). However, he was fair and enthusiastic about teaching the next generation(s) about what our forebears went through to make our country great.

• Pet Shop Boys. From the moment one of my friends introduced me to their music 25 years ago, I knew I had found a group that represented how I felt as a Gen-Xer; coincidentally (or not), the lyrics of their songs on Behave described a lot of things I was going through between 1990 and 1994. To this day, “Left to My Own Devices” (from Introspection) remains my signature song.

• Sandra and Robert, my friends (and former landlords). I had never really considered riding/training in dressage until I became their tenant in 1990. When I visited them in 2002, Sandra invited me to sit and “have a trot” on her Lusitano stallion. That ride marked the moment I officially returned to my first true love, horses. Robert is the first person to teach me how to drive stick-shift when he and Sandra let me cruise his Land Rover around an empty parking lot at a grocery store. It was the most fun I’ve ever had driving; by the way, this adventure was in England, so I had an extra challenge of driving on the side I wasn’t used to.

• Diana, Princess of Wales. People who have known me for a long, long time probably remember me back in the days I had her haircut and wore dresses and hats to school. To high school. But it wasn’t her fashion that intrigued me, or even the fairy tale the public was sold (and bought) about her life. I was intrigued and inspired by her ability to stand tall and smile in public, to be gracious and carry on, when her private world was falling apart. The day moved home from England, for good, I was able to keep myself together by focusing on my mental image of the princess greeting someone at a fundraiser at the Serpentine Gallery in 1994. She was wearing that now-famous black cocktail dress and heels, smiling and extending her hand in greeting while her husband answered questions about their marriage for a television interview. I thought, “If she can hold it together so well—in public—while her world is falling apart, I can and will do it, too.”

• Katie, one of the advanced riders at Silver Gate Farms when I started riding again after a 19-year hiatus from horses. She motivated (and reassured) me to relax and enjoy the ride the first time I watched her hand-gallop her horse before a jumping lesson. (She jumped big fences.) My trainer, Jim, pointed to them and explained, “See that? She is completely in control of her horse.” He explained how and why this was true, but the image of this ride is what really impacted me: she was smiling and adjusting her sunglasses as they galloped around the arena. In my memory, she was holding the reins in just one hand…but who knows? I was ready and inspired to get on a horse and canter, too.

• Katie again. It took six years for me to feel really comfortable driving, let alone taking the freeway, when I returned from England. When I told her this by way of asking if I could follow her from a local showground to get back to the barn, she said of course. Then she added the insight (advice) I now share with clients when I help them overcome similar anxieties: “Freeways are your friend. Once you are on the freeway, you can only go one direction so you can’t get lost.”

• Dr. John Kappas and my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. Sadly, I never got to meet Dr. Kappas, as he had passed away before I started my hypnotherapy training. However, through watching videos of his lectures, reading his books and learning his teachings through the instructors at HMI who lovingly carry on his legacy, I continue to be inspired as a student and practitioner of hypnotherapy. Hands down, the Theory of Mind has changed my life. At least, it has changed (for the better) the way I look at my life so I can approach new experiences with curiosity, enthusiasm and interest rather than anxiety or discomfort.

• Monty Roberts, Chris Cox, Robert Dover, Jan Ebeling, Gina Miles, Charlotte Dujardin. Each of these individuals inspires me for different reasons and in different ways, but I consider them all role models for the work they do in handling and riding horses. Every time I work with or ride my horse, I remember his saying, “Low adrenaline equals high learning,” and exhale any anxiety, frustration or impatience I may be feeling. My first, most important priority is to make sure Galahad feels comfortable, safe and confident in his work, and I need to be the leader he would choose for that role. Mr. Cox’s advice that “you will never be on a runaway if you can ride a fast horse” has become my mantra when I feel nervous about trying something new during a lesson or if my horse shies at something. I just love the respectful way that Mr. Dover and Mr. Ebeling interact with their mounts during a ride: there is plenty of praise and long-rein/walk breaks to reward the horse while they are working. Ms. Miles and Ms. Dujardin are my inspirations in my riding: I want to be able to ride the way they do “when I grow up,” as I like to say. Or, at least to ride well enough to participate in one of their clinics one day.

       So, that’s some background about people who have inspired me over the years. Who are your role models? Who has influenced your life?

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

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