Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Don't Let Them Grind You Down


 

                Positive self-esteem is a strong predictor of whether you can and will accomplish a goal. When our self-esteem is high, so is our self-confidence. Nothing seems beyond our ability to achieve, and we put out all the stops working to succeed. Unfortunately, other people’s negative opinions or beliefs about these abilities can have a deleterious influence on our success, as well as our self-image.

                During my hypnotherapy training at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, I observed in an in-class demonstration of muscle testing (kinesiology) to show how positive or negative energy can affect our beliefs in ourselves and our abilities. During the presentation, a volunteer held his arms out perpendicular to his body while the class sent “positive” images and thoughts about his ability to keep his arms elevated. The volunteer was told to think similar positive messages during the experiment, and his arms stayed at that elevation. Then the class was instructed to send or think negative beliefs about the volunteer being unable to hold his arms up anymore. Sure enough, his arms dropped several inches and the person described how difficult it felt to sustain that position even though he continued to send himself positive messages about being able to do so. In the next experiment, the volunteer’s arms dropped to his thighs when he also sent negative messages about his inability to keep his arms elevated. Finally, the class and the volunteer were instructed to think and send positive messages about his ability to hold his arms perpendicular to his body once again, which he was able to do.

I witnessed a similar “demonstration” about how belief in self can affect performance during the January 24, 2015 episode of Saturday Night Live. In one sketch, musical guest/host Blake Shelton kept interrupting a magic show by declaring that the purported “magician” couldn’t actually do magic and that magic wasn’t real. Even though the magician continued to demonstrate his prowess by doing successful card tricks, etc., Shelton continued his tirade and challenged the performer to use magic on him to prove otherwise. Ultimately the magician’s self-confidence got so worn down after listening to repeated disparaging comments about his skill that even he started to doubt his ability when he couldn’t complete a card trick. He and the rest of his audience even agreed that magic didn’t really exist when the “spell” he tried to cast on Shelton apparently failed. However, once the naysayer stormed off in disgust, the magician was able to complete another magic trick. His belief in himself (self-esteem) and his self-confidence immediately went up. He declared that magic really does exist and performed another successful trick as the audience applauded with approval.

HMI founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind tells us that we start receiving message units the moment we are born. Between the ages of five and eight, we start taking these messages directly into the subconscious mind. In addition, as we get older we are also strongly influenced by what our peers think about us and our abilities. Even negative messages that cause emotional pain such as criticism about our ability to succeed will be accepted and integrated to help form our life script. Negative messages create negative beliefs, and unless or until those beliefs are replaced with positive ones, our self-image will not improve even if our physical ability and strength has actually changed.

Remember: The path to a positive self-image starts with self-confidence and self-esteem you feel from the inside. Once these beliefs are there, keep reinforcing the positive messages in your mind so they become an indelible part of your subconscious mental script. Negativity can only gain a foothold in our subconscious minds if we invite and allow it to grow there in the first place, so don’t let other people’s negativity grind you down with them.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

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