Two Routes, One Destination

Diagram courtesy of Microsoft Bing
 

                In life, there are often several routes we can take to reach the same destination or techniques we can use to achieve the same goal. I find it interesting that once we have chosen a specific path or method, we are very reluctant to try the alternative.

                A couple weeks ago, I suggested to my dad that he drive to my nephew’s school Christmas pageant the same way I go to see my horse. I knew that this route would enable him to avoid both the round-about on the freeway exit and having to make a left-hand turn into the school parking lot. To my surprise, he was very resistant about going the way I suggested. To my surprise, it turned out he had never driven that way to the school, which accounted for his initial protest about taking this unfamiliar route. I had to admit that I felt a pang of sympathy for him. Even though it was known and comfortable for me because I almost always drive the route I was encouraging him to take, once upon a time, I felt the exact same way about it. Maybe one day it will become this familiar and comfortable for my dad, as well.

                Several years ago, I used to always go to the barn the same way my dad wanted to drive to the school. I was aware that a simpler, more direct route existed; there was even an alternative that avoided the freeways altogether. However, since I had never gone either way I was wary about going any way other than the way I was used to. It was so familiar that I barely had to think about when to turn or where. It was comfortable and known, a subconscious mental script that I (almost) could have driven to the barn with my eyes closed. It didn’t matter that I had a GPS in my car and several local maps I could use if I took a wrong turn. It didn’t matter that I had lived in the area for most of my life and, theoretically, already knew—or should have known—how to at least find my way home if I got lost. I had no reason or desire to change this habit, so I didn’t—until “my” freeway ramp was closed for landscaping and I had no choice but to take the path unknown.

                I plugged the alternate route into my GPS, took a deep breath and started to drive according to the GPS Voice’s instructions. So what if I had to get on the freeway a few exits over from my usual starting point? I asked myself as I merged into traffic. I soon realized that I had been worried for no reason when I started to recognize familiar road signs and landmarks that reassured me I really was going the right way. I even discovered that this new route even had some perks: I had to make fewer left-hand turns and fewer lane-changes, and my overall drive time was actually a little shorter. Best of all, I didn’t have to deal with that round-about where I usually exited the freeway. After driving this way a few times, I became so comfortable and confident taking this new route that it became a new mental script but even my preferred way to drive out to this part of the city.

 

               

                               

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

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