Bring a Buddy

Bring a Buddy

 

 

        Do you remember your first day of school? Mom or Dad—or maybe both parents—dropped you off in front of the school or even at your classroom. They probably gave you hugs and kisses and plenty of reassurance that everything would be okay, you’d have fun, etc. Perhaps they even tasked an older sibling to watch out for you at recess and lunch until you got settled in. Once you had been there for a while and had made friends of your own, you didn’t need to be under the family’s watchful eye so much. You’d be okay. Maybe, you’d even help another kid to settle in at the school who seemed worried or uncomfortable, too.

        Is it any different now that you are a grown-up? As humans (and social animals), we typically want and crave companionship of others. There is security in numbers, as they say; but there is also a sense of reassurance that everything really can be okay when you see and know someone who has experienced and succeeded in whatever you are going through. As hypnotherapist and Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., explained, anything new is likely to be “painful” to some degree because it is unknown and unfamiliar. However, a person’s suggestibility to other individuals can help to reduce this discomfort: As we observe someone else successfully negotiate a challenge we learn and/or infer how we can do the same thing.

        For example, the first time I took my horse out on a trail ride, my trainer rode his brother—an older and more experienced gelding—while she ponied him beside her. I didn’t ride Galahad that time out—I was on one of the schooling horses—because he had never been out on an organized ride like that before. My trainer wanted to be sure he would be relaxed, respectful and smart with people riding horses beside him. This way, we could all go for a walk around the neighborhood together with two more experienced horses and an experienced equestrian on-hand to relax and reassure me and my boy. I was new to the neighborhood and still fairly “new” to my horse, so this strategy was also great for me. I didn’t have to worry about getting lost on the circuitous streets near the barn, and I could observe how my horse behaved away from the barn without having to worry what to do if he didn’t behave.

        In fact, Galahad probably did the best of all that day. I do believe that having his big brother next to him was very reassuring during his new adventure. He kept looking all around him at the passing scenery as we made our way through the community. His ears flicked back and forth; sometimes he would blow contentedly as he followed us down one of the dusty streets. My trainer told me that my horse seemed to slow down as if he were dragging his hooves when we headed home. I was also more relaxed and relieved to be on that ride with a more experienced rider and horse. Just for safety’s sake, I do not ride alone—especially on an unfamiliar trail. In particular, I did not want to be on Galahad the first time he went out like this, without knowing what he was likely to do or how he might act away from the barn. Happily for us all, he was a star and we all had a wonderful time with our buddies to make a new, positive subconscious known (pleasure).

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

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