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Wednesday, November 11, 2020

A Different Way to Look at Performance Anxiety

To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus, I am temporarily suspending in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, Skype and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on September 15, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Performance anxiety, or the fear of performing some task or behavior in front of other people, is a common phenomenon. Indeed, a majority of my hypnotherapy practice centers on helping clients overcome performance anxiety to some extent. Whether the person wants to increase confidence to speak or play an instrument in public, or overcome a “nervous stomach” before taking the field at a big game or horse show, performance anxiety is the culprit. Many people who come in to quit a tobacco habit or lose weight are initially surprised to learn that smoking/chewing tobacco or over-eating are replacement behaviors their subconscious mind uses to repress or stuff down this anxiety.

What if the cause of your performance anxiety has less to do with the specific activity you are about to do and is more about being evaluated for that performance? In her book titled The Power of the Herd, A Nonpredatory Approach to Social Intelligence, Leadership, and Innovation¹, Linda Kohanov theorizes that the source of this stress has more to do with the evaluation than the task. The Eponaquest LLC founder calls this phenomenon “evaluation apprehension,” and describes various physiological symptoms of anxiety that we associate with performance anxiety including increased blood pressure and pulse/heart-rate and rapid speech pattern. Above all else is that overwhelming fear that everyone in the room is hyper-critical of and negatively rating everything we do. She even explains that the most deleterious effect of evaluation apprehension is the way it inhibits our desire to learn or try something new for fear of receiving this negative response from others.

When I read Kohanov’s take on performance anxiety, her concept of evaluation apprehension being the cause of this phenomenon really resonated with me. For example, it seems incongruous to hear that our favorite actor or dancer experiences severe “stage fright” before each performance despite having received the highest accolades for his or her work. What do they have to be afraid of when they have won every award there is for what they do? And yet, time and again they insist how much easier and preferable it is to do the work than to see the movie or a video of the performance, hear or read reviews about it later.

Her recognition of the “fear of the unknown” as a source of a person’s anxiety to try something new also dovetails with the Theory of Mind² that John Kappas, Ph.D., referenced in so much of his hypnotherapy work. According to the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder, the subconscious part of the mind is uncomfortable about and resistant to doing new or different things even when the conscious mind (logic, reason, will-power/free-will and reasoning) says that it’s okay to do so. This resistance comes from the “knowns” (familiar stimuli) and that subconscious mental script we all carry around to protect us from real and perceived threats. If you have a subconscious mental script that keeps reinforcing the message that everyone really is judging and evaluating you—and you believe that this judgment is negative—of course you will avoid that situation at all costs. Since the subconscious mind works on expectation and imagination, over time, we learn to expect others to respond to and interact with us in a particular way based on that previous experience.

With that in mind, I would suggest looking at the phenomenon of performance anxiety in the context of “evaluation apprehension.” In fact, I really already do that in my hypnotherapy practice as I teach clients various breathing techniques to increase their relaxation and imagery exercises so they can focus on all the things that can and will go right during the task. I also encourage clients to use memories of positive experiences/outcomes in similar situations to increase their self-confidence and self-esteem. Ultimately, when we are confident and relaxed doing the behavior, it is easier and even enjoyable to do the task and not even think about, let alone worry, what other people may think about our performance.

1. Kohanov, Linda. The Power of the Herd: A Nonpredatory Approach to Social Intelligence, Leadership, and Innovation. New World Library: Novato, California. 2013. pp. 188-189

2. Kappas, Ph.D., John G. Professional Hypnotism Manual: A Practical Approach for Modern Times (4^th Edition). Panorama Publishing Company: Tarzana, CA. 2001. pp. 10-13

Special Discount for First Responders

25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, ER doctors, ER nurses) plus $10 off a la carte sessions!*

*This promotion may not be combined with any other offer. It is non-transferable and may not be exchanged for cash. Promotion ends on November 30, 2020

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 and in September 2020 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

Tuesday, November 10, 2020

Dealing With Frustration

(This blog was originally posted on July 15, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

What frustrates you? Being stuck in rush-hour traffic? Having to chase your dog around the neighborhood to catch him after he jumped the fence? Sleeping through your alarm and being late for work? Pop-up ads that block the computer screen and impede your work until you figure out how to get rid of the advertisement? The list goes on. Following are some practical relaxation and visualization techniques that you can use to help you relax when you experience stress during such moments of frustration.

Diaphragmatic breathing. Draw a slow, deep breath through your nose; hold it four three or four seconds and then release the air through your mouth. Breathing this way not only relaxes the tension in your physical body; it also provides a tangible example (proof) that you can control a specific physical behavior. Repeat this exercise several times until you notice that your pulse/heartbeat returns to its normal (resting) rate.

Let your conscious awareness of the situation help you out. According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, your subconscious mind is likely following a subconscious mental script about how it thinks you “should” respond or behave when you are frustrated. When you are in a situation with which you regularly associate anxiety and frustration, you are likely to experience these negative emotions as soon as your SCM recognizes similar themes in that environment. Practice diaphragmatic breathing while you focus your attention on specific physical characteristics (message units) of the stimuli you experience around you. What do you see, hear, feel, taste or smell? Directing your conscious attention to these individual details in this way will not only help to relax you by distracting your attention away from the source of your stress or frustration. It will also inundate your SCM with these new message units and help to create a new, different (innocuous) mental script about this formerly stress-inducing environment.

Focus on your options/solutions. As Gil Grissom, one of my favorite characters from the original cast of CBS’ hit series, CSI, used to say: “There is always a clue.” Once your physical body is relaxed and your mind is calm, you can turn your attention to finding solutions to the problem that is causing your stress. Once your subconscious mind has created new associations (knowns) between feeling calm and your ability to focus, it becomes easier to create new solutions for reducing your frustration or even access previously proved (success) mental scripts to manage your frustration.

Be polite and gracious to the people around you. Good manners go a long, long way to preventing the development of additional social/emotional stress in your environment. For example, if there is a long line at the drug store when you go to pick up your prescription, you can be pretty sure that other people, including the clerk, are also experiencing frustration about the wait. The simple physical action of smiling at the people around you transforms your negative energy/emotion into a positive response. As Dr. Kappas liked to remind his clients and students, it is impossible for two opposite emotions to exist at the same time. In addition, positive emotion has stronger energy than a negative emotion such as anger or frustration. When you smile, you not only convert the negative energy but also (metaphorically) invite solutions that will resolve your problem, including another person offering to help you out.

Finally, hypnotherapy and therapeutic-guided imagery are great tools to help you learn to relax and manage/control stress and frustration. I will teach you simple breathing and relaxation exercises that you can use to help reduce stress and create a hypnotic script to help manage your frustration during specific situations. I will also give you a recording of your hypnosis to keep that you can listen to and reinforce the relaxation techniques that we worked on during your hypnotherapy session.

Special Discount for First Responders

*This promotion may not be combined with any other offer. It is non-transferable and may not be exchanged for cash. Promotion ends on November 30, 2020