7 Keys to a Successful, Long-term Intimate Relationship

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on February 14, 2014)

 

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

On Valentine’s Day, many couples around the world spend the day celebrating their love and relationship. Some people will exchange cards and love letters. Others will give their partner a box of chocolates and/or a bouquet of flowers. And, certainly, no other day of the year is more romantic to become engaged. In honor of June being a favorite month in which to get married, I have decided to re-post this blog.

In 2005, I attended an eye-opening seminar at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute about the keys to a healthy, intimate relationship based on the concepts of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Emotional and Physical Sexuality. In this seminar, instructor Marc Gravelle identified the following seven qualities of a healthy relationship. Following is this list to help you evaluate whether you and your partner are ready to take your relationship to the next level:

1.      You like each other. (This is the most important factor)

2.      You trust each other.

3.      You respect each other.

4.      You have good communication, where you can honestly share your thoughts and feelings about an issue with the other person.

5.      You have good sex (each partner gets his or her needs met).

6.      You have similar interests.

7.      You have separate interests.

Notice that the terms “love” and “in love” are not included in this list. That is because romantic love is what you feel during the honeymoon or early stages of a relationship. Yes, it is exciting, exhilarating and often intoxicating; but the high level of energy required to sustain this stage of infatuation eventually wears away. However, with these seven elements firmly in place, you can still enjoy and appreciate all of these ingredients (qualities) about your partner that first attracted you to each other, and your relationship will continue to flourish.

 

Special Offer:

Hypnotherapy to Release Weight

Hypnosis for weight loss series: $1,250 for 10-week series. (This is a $250 savings!) The $200 fee for the first session will be included in this rate only when the package is purchased up front. Book this package before June 30, 2023, to lock in this price as my rates will be going up on July 1, 2023.

*May not be combined with any other offer. Not redeemable for cash.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

 

All About Emotional & Physical Sexuality, Part 2

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on February 3, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

The cornerstone of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s hypnotherapy practice was the concept of Emotional and Physical Sexuality.  In my blog titled, All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1, I described the characteristics of these personalities and the importance of knowing a client’s sexual personality as a way to understand, predict and even mold his or her behavior. In today’s blog I will further describe the priorities and goals of each personality in the context of a romantic (sexual) relationship. Please keep in mind that, like suggestibility, there are varying degrees of the Emotional and Physical Sexuality traits; no one is 100 percent “Emotional” or 100 percent “Physical” in terms of the degree to which dominant sexual-personality traits is manifested.

 

E&P PRIORITIES

 

EMOTIONAL	PHYSICAL
Career/$ Security (If financial security doesn’t exist, everything else falls by the wayside.)	Relationship/Sex (Relationship and Sex are interchangeable for the Physical. Sex is how the Physical expresses love)
Hobbies/Kids (Emotional male has no friends or work acquaintance, etc. or 1 Physical male friend considers; Emotional female partner as friend. Emotional female has other Emotional female friends. “Kids” are a hobby for an ethnic Emotional)	Children/Family
Relationship/Family (Home base)	Hobbies/ Friends (Physical Female has Physical male friends, often ex-partners, lack of competition; a Physical male will have Physical male friends.)
Sex	Career/$ Security

 

 

Emotional Sexual vs. Physical Sexual Personality

• Emotionals don’t like to confront the partner. Physicals have no problem asking for or “demanding” what they want and need in the relationship
• Guilt controls the Emotional partner. The Physical partner feels actual, physical pain during a break-up, but when the relationship is over an Emotional “seems” to move on to a new relationship. (A bad break-up can take the Physical out of the dating game for a very long time in some cases, or subconsciously “chooses” another Physical partner because the previous experience with the Emotional lover/end of relationship was so traumatic.
• Sex and the relationship are two different/separate things for the Emotional partner. The Emo can compartmentalize: “It’s ‘just’ sex” with a mistress
• Sex and the relationship are the one and the same for the Physical partner. A Physical Sexual individual can’t imagine being sexually intimate without “feeling” an emotional connection with the other person.
• BOTH Emotional Sexual and Physical Sexual partner wants control in the relationship but go about different ways to get it. (E.g., Physical partner shouts/pouts/makes demands for more attention; the Emotional Partner freezes out/ignores the Physical partner, which makes the Physical partner shout/make demands until one of them walks away from the relationship or reconciles the difference.

 

If you are interested in finding out what whether you are an Emotional or Physical Sexual personality, check out the relationship quiz. It is can be hard to be objective about your own behavior when answering these questions, so I suggest that you take the quiz for (about) your spouse/partner and have the other person do the same for you. Once you know and understand Dr. Kappas’s E&P Sexual Personality model, a whole new world will open up for you in terms of recognizing, predicting and even helping to shape your own behavior and that of other people with whom you share a significant personal relationship.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit my website. 

© 2022

Emotional & Physical Sexual Personality Examples in Popular Songs

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on May 1, 2018)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 The cornerstone of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s hypnotherapy practice is his concept of Emotional and Physical Sexuality.  In my blog titled, All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1, I described the characteristics of these personalities and the importance of knowing a client’s sexual personality as a way to understand, predict and even mold his or her behavior. I provided more information about each personality—in particular, their priorities and goals in the context of a romantic (sexual) relationship—in the follow-up blog titled All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 2. In today’s blog I will present relationship perspectives in three songs (“scenarios”) that may give you a lyrical insight about how Emotional Sexuals and Physical Sexuals might behave at the end of a relationship.

·        “Buy Me a Rose,” by Kenny Rogers. In this song, Kenny Rogers represents the Emotional Sexual partner in a relationship. Remember, an Emotional Sexual generally does not feel comfortable expressing his feelings for a lover or spouse (the same is true for Emotional Sexual women). Consistent with this personality, he shows the love he feels for his wife by working hard to provide a good home and lifestyle for her. Since an Emotional Sexual’s core values are financial security/work; hobbies; friends and family; and the relationship, in his mind the relationship is going great because he is providing for her so well. However, since he does not verbalize his emotions or even show affection by calling her from work to say hello/I love you, or even bring her flowers from time to time, their marriage is not really so great.

·        “Wrecking Ball,” by Miley Cyrus. Sung from the post-breakup perspective, the lyrics describe a post-mortem of all the extreme and excessive clinging behaviors with which a Physical Sexual overwhelms and often alienates her Emotional Sexual lover.  For example, when Cyrus describes how she “came in like a wrecking ball”—full of emotion and demanding attempts to get closer to her partner—you can almost imagine a hurricane-force ball of energy hurling at you. Meanwhile, the other partner keeps pulling away from her until she is burning with rejection. The heart-breaking line in the bridge of the song is when she concedes, “Instead of using force/I guess I should have let you in.” If she had taken a step (or several) back and given him some space—the metaphoric “Twinkie”—the relationship might not have imploded. (Although this song is sung by a woman/her perspective, it is also applicable to a Physical Sexual man in a similar situation.)

·        “Just Give me a Reason,” by Pink featuring Nate Ruess. For me, this song represents the dynamics and communication (or miscommunication) between Physical Sexual and Emotional Sexual partners as their relationship starts to unravel. The lyrics trace the trajectory of their early attraction in the romance to a plateau stage in the relationship, where the passion and urgency of new love has worn off. The Physical Sexual female notices that her partner is talking in his sleep and no longer seems as attentive or interested in her compared to what is going on in his life. Meanwhile, the Emotional Sexual male is confused about her insecurity about their relationship: “Your head is running wild again/my dear we still have everythin’.” As the title of this song suggests, the outlook for this couple seems bright, though, because both partners want to work through their insecurities and misunderstandings to save the relationship.

Although the three songs I have chosen for this essay seem to emphasize stereotypical male/female roles, it is important to note that Dr. Kappas’s theory of Emotional and Physical Sexuality is not based on male/female behaviors. A man can be a Physical Sexual and a woman can be an Emotional Sexual. For example, in her hit “Ex’s and Oh’s,” singer Elle King is the Emotional Sexual partner whose (Physical Sexual) lovers are pining and cursing her name after she ends the relationship.

 This is also a sliding scale, so no one will be 100 percent Emotional Sexual or 100 percent Physical Sexual. Rather, we each possess characteristics of both personalities but tend to be more “dominant” in one or the other category.

For fun, consider the lyrics of your favorite relationship song in the context of Emotional and Physical Sexual personality. You may find an entirely new perspective or understanding of the song.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

7 Keys to a Successful, Long-Term Relationship

 I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on February 14, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

On Valentine’s Day, many couples around the world spend the day celebrating their love and relationship. Some people exchange cards and love letters. Others will give their partner a box of chocolates and/or a bouquet of flowers. And, certainly, no other day of the year is more romantic to become engaged. In honor of June being a favorite month in which to get married, I have decided to re-post this blog.

In 2005, I attended an eye-opening seminar at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute about the keys to a healthy, intimate relationship based on the concepts of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Emotional and Physical Sexuality. In this seminar, instructor Marc Gravelle identified the following seven qualities of a healthy relationship. Following is this list to help you evaluate whether you and your partner are ready to take your relationship to the next level:

1. You like each other. (This is the most important factor)
2. You trust each other.
3. You respect each other
4. You have good communication, where you can honestly share your thoughts and feelings about an issue with the other person.
5. You have good sex (each partner gets his or her needs met).
6. You have similar interests.
7. You have separate interests.

Notice that the terms “love” and “in love” are not included in this list. That is because romantic love is what you feel during the honeymoon or early stages of a relationship. Yes, it is exciting, exhilarating and often intoxicating; but the high level of energy required to sustain this stage of infatuation eventually wears away. However, with these seven elements firmly in place, you can still enjoy and appreciate all of these ingredients (qualities) about your partner that first attracted you to each other, and your relationship will continue to flourish.

Special Offer:

Release Unwanted Weight with Hypnosis

 

Hypnosis for weight loss series: $1,250 for the 10-week series. (This is a $250 savings!) The $200 fee for the first session will be waived only when the package is purchased up front. Motivational materials and a free digital recording of the hypnosis portion of each session will be provided.

This promotion is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other offer.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (2019, 2020, 2021). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

All About Emotional & Physical Sexuality, Part 3

To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus and COVID-19 variants, I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. Meanwhile, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on February 4, 2016)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

 

In my previous blogs titled All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1 and All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 2, I described characteristics of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s cornerstone therapeutic model, Emotional and Physical Sexuality. Once you understand how behaviors and motivations of the respective partners affects a relationship, this model can help improve the relationship or even amicably separate from a partner if the relationship has run its course. The Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder used this model to successfully help thousands of hypnotherapy clients to negotiate conflicts in their romantic and personal relationships.

Following is a summary of how the Emotional Sexual and Physical Sexual partner behaves in a relationship.

 

 

Emotionals vs. Physicals

• Emotional Sexual individuals don’t like to confront their partner. Physical Sexual individuals have no problem asking for or “demanding” what they want and need.

• Guilt controls the Emotional Sexual partner. The Physical Sexual partner feels actual, physical pain during a break-up, but when the relationship is over an Emotional “seems” to move on to a new relationship. (A bad break-up can take the Physical out of the dating game for a very long time in some cases, or subconsciously “chooses” another Physical partner because the previous experience with the Emotional lover/end of relationship was so traumatic.)

• The Emotional Sexual partner has 3-day cycles for sexual receptiveness. Day “3” is optimal for sexual intimacy/likelihood of the Emotional Sexual to solicit sexual contact from the partner. On day 3, the Emotional Sexual is most “Physical” (sub-dominance).

• Sex and the relationship are two different/separate things for the Emotional Sexual partner. The Emotional Sexual can compartmentalize: “It’s ‘just’ sex” with a mistress.

• Sex and the relationship are the one and the same for the Physical Sexual partner. A Physical Sexual person can’t imagine being sexually intimate without “feeling” an emotional connection with the other person.

• BOTH the Emotional Sexual and Physical Sexual partner wants control in the relationship but go about getting it in different ways. For example, the Physical Sexual partner shouts/pouts/makes demands for more attention. Conversely, the Emotional Sexual Partner freezes out/ignores the Physical Sexual partner, which makes the Physical Sexual partner become even more needy—shouting/making demands until one of them walks away from the relationship or reconciles the difference.

The goal of the Physical Sexual partner is to raise the Emotional partner’s subdominant (Physical Sexual) trait in order to receive the affection and attention that he or she needs and craves. The goal of the Emotional Sexual partner is to lower the Physical Sexual partner’s physicality in order to give the Emotional more “space” to feel desire and come forward. To reduce negative tension and increase physical desire between the Emotional and Physical Sexual partners, Dr. Kappas recommended that each individual “give a Twinkie” ( a metaphoric treat or favor) in the form of a desired behavior, from time to time. For example:

• The Physical Sexual partner can give the Emotional partner “space” to do his/her own thing for a little while or be an asset to the Emotional partner’s career.

• The Emotional Sexual partner can send love notes to the Physical partner, have flowers delivered, etc. to show that he/she is thinking about the other person even when not in the mood for physical intimacy.

• Understanding the 3-day cycle and planning intimacy around this is “giving a Twinkie” as well. Physical partner is usually responsible for this gesture because the Physical is most likely to feel/be sensitive to Emotional partner’s inadvertent rejection on Day 1 and Day 2 of the sexual cycle.

• The Emotional partner has 3-day cycles for sexual receptiveness. Day “3” is optimal for sexual intimacy/likelihood of the Emotional to solicit sexual contact from the partner. On day 3, the Emotional is most “Physical” (sub-dominance).

• Cubicle release: Emotional wants a strong sensation/ultimate sexual experience to really “feel” intimate with the partner. 1 ejaculation vs. 3 ½ for the physical partner, who can ejaculate in smaller volumes to have many experiences.

• “Buy the symptoms” of the opposite behavior: When the Emotional is cycling, it’s not about you (the Physical partner). It’s about cycle days, so give the Emotional partner the space to come to you (the physical partner). If the Emotional partner only encounters the Physical partner on a cycle day, he/she can feel even more physical. This good experience shortens the length of time between cycle days.

  

References

Kappas, Ph.D., John G. Relationship Strategies: The E & P Attraction. Panorama Publishing, Tarzana, California. © 1992.

 

 

 

Special Offer: Intensive Hypnotherapy to Quit Smoking

This session lasts approximately 2 hours. You must be smoking 5 cigarettes or fewer per day and have previously completed the First Hypnotherapy session with me to participate in this program. Relevant handouts and a free, digital reinforcement hypnosis track will be provided at the end of the session.  The Intensive Hypnotherapy to Quit Smoking session costs $275. If you also need to do the First Hypnotherapy session, I am also offering a $35 discount on the First Session if you book and pay for both up front, at the same time ($440 total). This promotional discount may not be combined with any other discount or discount package. It is not redeemable for cash. Expires on October 31, 2021.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (July 2019, September 2020, July 2021). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2021

 

All About Emotional & Physical Sexuality, Part 2

To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus and COVID-19 variants, I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. Meanwhile, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on February 3, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

The cornerstone of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s hypnotherapy practice was the concept of Emotional and Physical Sexuality. In my blog titled, All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1, I described the characteristics of these personalities and the importance of knowing a client’s sexual personality as a way to understand, predict and even mold his or her behavior. In today’s blog I will further describe the priorities and goals of each personality in the context of a romantic (sexual) relationship. Please keep in mind that, like suggestibility, there are varying degrees of the Emotional and Physical Sexuality traits; no one is 100 percent “Emotional” or 100 percent “Physical” in terms of the degree to which dominant sexual-personality traits is manifested.

 

E&P PRIORITIES

 

EMOTIONAL	PHYSICAL
Career/$ Security (If financial security doesn’t exist, everything else falls by the wayside.)	Relationship/Sex (Relationship and Sex are interchangeable for the Physical. Sex is how the Physical expresses love)
Hobbies/Kids (Emotional male has no friends or work acquaintance, etc. or 1 Physical male friend considers; Emotional female partner as friend. Emotional female has other Emotional female friends. “Kids” are a hobby for an ethnic Emotional)	Children/Family
Relationship/Family (Home base)	Hobbies/ Friends (Physical Female has Physical male friends, often ex-partners, lack of competition; a Physical male will have Physical male friends.)
Sex	Career/$ Security

 

  

Emotional Sexual vs. Physical Sexual Personality

• Emotionals don’t like to confront the partner. Physicals have no problem asking for or “demanding” what they want and need in the relationship.
• Guilt controls the Emotional partner. The Physical partner feels actual, physical pain during a break-up, but when the relationship is over an Emotional “seems” to move on to a new relationship. (A bad break-up can take the Physical out of the dating game for a very long time in some cases, or subconsciously “chooses” another Physical partner because the previous experience with the Emotional lover/end of relationship was so traumatic.)
• Sex and the relationship are two different/separate things for the Emotional partner. The Emo can compartmentalize: “It’s ‘just’ sex” with a mistress.
• Sex and the relationship are the one and the same for the Physical partner. A Physical Sexual individual can’t imagine being sexually intimate without “feeling” an emotional connection with the other person.
• BOTH Emotional Sexual and Physical Sexual partner wants control in the relationship but go about different ways to get it. (E.g., Physical partner shouts/pouts/makes demands for more attention; the Emotional Partner freezes out/ignores the Physical partner, which makes the Physical partner shout/make demands until one of them walks away from the relationship or reconciles the difference.

 

If you are interested in finding out what whether you are an Emotional or Physical Sexual personality, check out the relationship quiz. It is can be hard to be objective about your own behavior when answering these questions, so I suggest that you take the quiz for (about) your spouse/partner and have the other person do the same for you. Once you know and understand Dr. Kappas’s E&P Sexual Personality model, a whole new world will open up for you in terms of recognizing, predicting and even helping to shape your own behavior and that of other people with whom you share a significant personal relationship.

 

 

Special Offer: Intensive Hypnotherapy to Quit Smoking

This session lasts approximately 2 hours. You must be smoking 5 cigarettes or fewer per day and have previously completed the First Hypnotherapy session with me to participate in this program. Relevant handouts and a free, digital reinforcement hypnosis track will be provided at the end of the session. The Intensive Hypnotherapy to Quit Smoking session costs $275. If you also need to do the First Hypnotherapy session, I am also offering a $35 discount on the First Session if you book and pay for both up front, at the same time ($440 total). This promotional discount may not be combined with any other discount or discount package. It is not redeemable for cash. Expires on October 31, 2021.

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (July 2019, September 2020, July 2021). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2021

All About Emotional & Physical Sexual Personality, Part 3

 

In compliance with current WHO and CDC recommendations to minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus, I am temporarily suspending in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone and Skype consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

 

(This blog was originally posted on February 4, 2016)

 

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

 

In my previous blogs titled All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1 and All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 2, I described characteristics of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s cornerstone therapeutic model, Emotional and Physical Sexuality. Once you understand how behaviors and motivations of the respective partners affects a relationship, this model can help improve the relationship or even amicably separate from a partner if the relationship has run its course. The Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder used this model to successfully help thousands of hypnotherapy clients to negotiate conflicts in their romantic and personal relationships.

Following is a summary of how the Emotional Sexual and Physical Sexual partner behaves in a relationship.

 

 

Emotionals vs. Physicals

•  Emotional Sexual individuals don’t like to confront their partner. Physical Sexual individuals have no problem asking for or “demanding” what they want and need.
• Guilt controls the Emotional Sexual partner. The Physical Sexual partner feels actual, physical pain during a break-up, but when the relationship is over an Emotional “seems” to move on to a new relationship. (A bad break-up can take the Physical out of the dating game for a very long time in some cases, or subconsciously “chooses” another Physical partner because the previous experience with the Emotional lover/end of relationship was so traumatic.)
• The Emotional Sexual partner has 3-day cycles for sexual receptiveness. Day “3” is optimal for sexual intimacy/likelihood of the Emotional Sexual to solicit sexual contact from the partner. On day 3, the Emotional Sexual is most “Physical” (sub-dominance).
• Sex and the relationship are two different/separate things for the Emotional Sexual partner. The Emotional Sexual can compartmentalize: “It’s ‘just’ sex” with a mistress.
• Sex and the relationship are the one and the same for the Physical Sexual partner. A Physical Sexual person can’t imagine being sexually intimate without “feeling” an emotional connection with the other person.
• BOTH the Emotional Sexual and Physical Sexual partner wants control in the relationship but go about getting it in different ways. For example, the Physical Sexual partner shouts/pouts/makes demands for more attention. Conversely, the Emotional Sexual Partner freezes out/ignores the Physical Sexual partner, which makes the Physical Sexual partner become even more needy—shouting/making demands until one of them walks away from the relationship or reconciles the difference.

 

The goal of the Physical Sexual partner is to raise the Emotional partner’s subdominant (Physical Sexual) trait in order to receive the affection and attention that he or she needs and craves. The goal of the Emotional Sexual partner is to lower the Physical Sexual partner’s physicality in order to give the Emotional more “space” to feel desire and come forward. To reduce negative tension and increase physical desire between the Emotional and Physical Sexual partners, Dr. Kappas recommended that each individual “give a Twinkie” ( a metaphoric treat or favor) in the form of a desired behavior, from time to time. For example:

• The Physical Sexual partner can give the Emotional partner “space” to do his/her own thing for a little while or be an asset to the Emotional partner’s career.

• The Emotional Sexual partner can send love notes to the Physical partner, have flowers delivered, etc. to show that he/she is thinking about the other person even when not in the mood for physical intimacy.

• Understanding the 3-day cycle and planning intimacy around this is “giving a Twinkie” as well. Physical partner is usually responsible for this gesture because the Physical is most likely to feel/be sensitive to Emotional partner’s inadvertent rejection on Day 1 and Day 2 of the sexual cycle.

• The Emotional partner has 3-day cycles for sexual receptiveness. Day “3” is optimal for sexual intimacy/likelihood of the Emotional to solicit sexual contact from the partner. On day 3, the Emotional is most “Physical” (sub-dominance).

• Cubicle release: Emotional wants a strong sensation/ultimate sexual experience to really “feel” intimate with the partner. 1 ejaculation vs. 3 ½ for the physical partner, who can ejaculate in smaller volumes to have many experiences.

• “Buy the symptoms” of the opposite behavior: When the Emotional is cycling, it’s not about you (the Physical partner). It’s about cycle days, so give the Emotional partner the space to come to you (the physical partner). If the Emotional partner only encounters the Physical partner on a cycle day, he/she can feel even more physical. This good experience shortens the length of time between cycle days.

 

References:

1.       Kappas, Ph.D., John G. Relationship Strategies: The E & P Attraction. Panorama Publishing, Tarzana, California. © 1992.

 

 

 

 

Limited-Time Offer: Free Phone Consultation

This is a great opportunity to find out why hypnosis is so effective and how hypnotherapy can help you achieve your self-improvement goals. Call/send me a text message at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Skype consultation, today! (Limited to one consultation per person.)

Offer valid through August 31, 2020.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2020

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