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Thursday, March 2, 2023

(Don't Start) Thinking About Tomorrow

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on August 22, 2014)

Photo by Sara R. Fogan, C,Ht.

One of the most important things we can do for our mental and emotional well-being is to allow ourselves to relax. I know, I know. That is easier said than done, especially on a Sunday night, because, well, tomorrow is Monday. Indeed, sometimes it feels like all of Sunday isn’t even part of the weekend, let alone a day of rest, because it has morphed into a day of preparation for Monday. It’s when we rush to put the finishing touches on homework assignments or projects for work and start psyching ourselves up for the grind of the week ahead. Furthermore, the more we think about the deadlines that are coming up, the social events or school activities that we “must” attend next week, or the rush-hour traffic we will have to negotiate early tomorrow morning, the more anxious we become. It’s enough to ruin the weekend, but only if we let it. Here are some suggestions to help you relax and enjoy the day:

Before you leave work, etc. on Friday, make a contract with yourself to not bring/do work at home; or, if you know that you must work on a project, that you will reserve some time between Friday evening and Sunday evening to relax and unwind.

Use imagery to visualize, picture or pretend that you are able to relax and enjoy the rest and relaxation that you deserve this weekend.

During this “Me Time,” just do what you want whether that is sleeping in, participating in a sport or hobby or even doing nothing at all.

Turn your activities into opportunities for moving meditation. In other words, focus only on what you are doing at that moment. If/when you notice that you are actively thinking and worrying about work or school, draw a couple of deep breaths and center your attention back on you and what you are doing right now. Whether you are cuddling your spouse, playing fetch with your dog or watching a movie with your kids, you will be able to enjoy whatever you are doing right now if that activity is occupying your full attention.

Use or recite affirmations that support your decision to relax and to think only about the present (i.e., what you are doing right now.)

Before you go to bed, make a mental or literal checklist to confirm that you are prepared to deal with tomorrow’s challenges. For example, is your mobile phone charged or charging? Are your completed home-work assignments in your backpack? Is the project you completed for work in your briefcase? Once you have verified that everything is okay, you can sleep quickly, soundly and deeply and know that you are in the perfect place to enjoy a successful, productive week.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

Wednesday, March 1, 2023

Hypnotherapy for Children and Teenagers

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on February 27, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Over the years, many of my clients have wanted to work on similar self-improvement issues: increase self-confidence/self-esteem, improve sport performance, increase focus/memory, manage fears and phobias, or to overcome social anxiety. Most of my clients are adults. However, I can and do work with children and teenagers. For the most part, a child’s hypnotherapy session is very similar to the grown-up’s: I discuss what behavior(s) the person would like to change, and I use the context of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind to explain how the current, unwanted behavior was established—and how it will be replaced by a more effective, desired strategy. I create a customized hypnotic script that includes general suggestions for relaxation and guided imagery to motivate the person to achieve the desired behavior changes. Following are some of the major differences between my hypnotherapy work with children (under 18 years old) and adults:

I must have a signed consent document from the child’s parents in order to work with anyone under 18 years old. If the parents are divorced and share custody of the child, both parents must still sign a consent-release form which I provide. If only one parent or has custody of the child, the legal guardian must sign the document.
The parents and legal guardians have a legal right to know some details about the hypnotherapy that their child or teenager is receiving. They also have a right to know whether the minor is using drugs or engaging in underage sex or dangerous behavior, or is threatening to harm him- or herself or others.
I respect the youngster’s right to privacy and confidentiality whenever possible. I also encourage the individual to confide in his or her parents, if/when it is appropriate.
When I work with very young children, I always invite my client’s parents or guardian to be present during the hypnosis.
The amount of time a young child will spend in hypnosis during the hypnotherapy session will be much shorter than what an adult or even a teenager will spend. While I typically use breathing/relaxation exercises to induce hypnosis in my clients, I also employ some kind of eye-fascination technique to hypnotize a child under age 14. (I usually do not use eye-fascination techniques to induce hypnosis in an adult).

As a certified hypnotherapist, California law allows me to provide hypnotherapy as a complementary or alternative treatment to help my clients to achieve vocational and avocational self-improvement goals (Business and Professions Code 2908). If your child or teenager’s issues are, or become, beyond my scope of expertise as a hypnotherapist, I will refer you to a licensed medical doctor or mental-health professional for further evaluation and/or treatment.

Tuesday, February 28, 2023

Family Ties

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on August 5, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

In one episode of his talk show, Late Night with Seth Meyers host, Seth Meyers, had his younger brother, Josh, as a guest on the show to help promote their animated series, The Awesomes. This was the first time I ever saw them interact together, and I was immediately struck by how easy, comfortable and familiar they were. That made sense: not only are they brothers; they are obviously very good friends. Watching the interview was less like a promotion for their shared venture on the Hulu® network and more like being a fly on the wall at a family reunion. It was fun to listen to them reminisce about their childhood and adolescence, the private names they call each other and the verbal shorthand they use to communicate. Apparently, the brothers knew each other so well that when Seth offered to pick up a sandwich for Josh, the younger sibling immediately knew that the family dog had died. Similarly, when Josh started a phone conversation by saying “I’m all right,” Seth knew those words were actually a code for, I’m alive, but this, this and this happened to me on the ski slopes today, or whatever.

Family members aren’t the only ones who communicate like this. Good friends, spouses, romantic partners or military personnel also share a similar verbal shorthand. Words don’t even need to be spoken, yet a gesture or facial expression tells an entire story to the other party in this non-verbal exchange. An observer, someone who is not part of this immediate group, might wonder if the members are even psychic the way they finish each other’s sentences. Even spookier is when one person says something and another says, “I was just going to say that!” and you know it is true. Extra-sensory perception may or may not have a part in the fluidity of this exchange, but you can definitely chalk up the mutual understanding to shared experiences and shared subconscious knowns. Siblings are a great example of this phenomenon.

Consider this second example of shared, familial knowns versus what we learn from non-family members (strangers). The popular detective series of the late 1980s and early 1990s, Inspector Morse, got a new spinoff a few years ago titled Endeavour. This new series follows Shaun Evans’ rookie detective constable at the start of Morse’s police career, negotiating department politics while he solves complicated murders. I think Evans is well-cast as Morse. He has the clear-blue eyes for which John Thaw’s Chief Inspector Morse was known, and the younger man has mastered Thaw’s facial expressions, posture and pattern of speech. But Thaw’s daughter, Abigail, who has a recurring role in the new series, is even more like her late father than the man who portrays him. In addition to bearing some physical resemblance to him, Ms. Thaw absolutely has that raised eyebrow, grimace, slow smile that fans remember from her father’s embodiment of “Morse.” These are not gestures that she would have had to study and learn so she could mimic them in her role, the way Evans would have had to do to convincingly portray a younger version of Inspector Morse. Rather, she would have acquired them over the years while sitting on her father’s knee listening to a story when she was a little girl or any number of casual interactions with him during a family get-together.

Whether or not you are emotionally close to your family, if you were raised and grew up together you already share more than DNA. You also learned various behaviors and beliefs from your parent(s)/guardian(s) through the development of your suggestibility, as did your sibling(s). You learned to associate certain events or stimuli with pleasure or pain, and these experiences became the knowns that would create, support and reinforce your subconscious life script. This process is the basis of Hypnosis Motivation Founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind and development of suggestibility. Whenever someone observes how two “like” minds think alike, I would say that is true more frequently about family members’—especially, siblings’—mental processes than that of two “strangers” such as spouses or close friends. Dr. Kappas’ Theory of Mind probably also goes a long way to explain the role of nurture in terms of contributing to our social development.

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

This is a great opportunity to find out why hypnosis is so effective and how hypnotherapy can help you achieve your self-improvement goals. Call or text me at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation* today!

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Thursday, February 23, 2023

Don't Rise to the Bait

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on August 21, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Fotolia

Whether it’s a colleague at work or another kid at school who is subtly or not-so-subtly challenging you, the most effective strategy to dissipate the tension between you is to ignore the taunt. Unfortunately, nothing is one of the most difficult things to do when we want to stand our ground and defend what we believe. This is even more challenging when we buy into and believe the criticism or digs someone is directing our way. Like children on the playground, adults can also get caught in a seemingly endless cycle of verbal sparring because this kind of interaction has become an established pattern between the participants. There may not be a specific reason why this behavior occurs; and for the purposes of this essay, it doesn’t even matter. The point here is the behavior and how you can prevent yourself from responding to and engaging with whatever has instigated it.

Whenever you find yourself in a potentially negative interaction ask yourself: Is the trash talk part of your usual repertoire with this individual or individuals? If your answer is yes, consider who is instigating the negativity. Be honest! It surprises many people to realize that they may have started the argument or made the first dig without even consciously knowing or intending to do this. If you did intend to stir something up with the other person, consider your reason or reasons for doing so. Sometimes we criticize another person’s behavior or appearance, etc., because we actually disapprove of or even resent that attribute in ourselves. If your answer is no, think back to a similar, previous occasion or events in which you were the object of the other person’s animosity. How did you react in those situations? How did the other person respond to what you said or did? If this scenario has been repeated several times, it is likely that you both follow a subconscious mental script in which you trigger specific antagonistic/combative and defensive/combative responses in each other.

Even if this behavior has become a habit, the good news is that you both can unlearn it and rewrite your mental scripts to create a more constructive way of interacting. Do not use or waste this time and your energy trying to come up with a clever retort to the other person’s taunt, either. Any temporary pleasure you may feel when you say it will be overshadowed by the fact that your quip will only reinforce the unwanted behavior that you’re trying to get rid of and the other person’s negative behavior toward you. The easiest way to start changing the original pattern is simple: just do not respond to that dig or verbal jab. Instead, draw a deep breath through the nose and hold it to the count of four and then exhale the breath through your mouth. As you inhale, visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you are inhaling calm, focus, patience and any word that you associate with feeling powerful, in control, and loving or benevolent. Then when you exhale, imagine that you are releasing from your body every last bit of anger, stress, frustration or negative energy or emotion that you feel about the other person and/or this situation.

For all intents and purposes, you are in a kind of “relationship” with the other person or people with whom you share this behavior. Like any other relationship in your life, this one is also subject to the principles behind the Systems Approach, whereby you cannot separate one component of the system from the sub-total or entire system. According to John Kappas, Ph.D., the founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, changing your behavior in the relationship—i.e., no longer respond to comments or communicate with the other party the way you used to—will necessarily affect the basic structure of the relationship or system and create resistance within it. The ultimate goal of applying the Systems Approach in hypnotherapy is to bring the System (relationship) back into balance. However, if that system is no longer working for you and the other party or parties is unwilling to change their behavior to restore this balance, the relationship as it stands will not survive. Under those circumstances, you may ultimately find that leaving the toxic relationship and combative social environment is the better option anyway.

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Age Regression...and Why I Don't Use This Technique to Uncover Traumatic Memories

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

This blog was originally posted on January 28, 2014

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

We often see characters on television or in the movies use age regression to solve a crime or resolve a mystery in a protagonist’s life. During the 1970s and 1980s, hypnosis was used as a crime-solving technique. During this period, there was a widely held belief that all psychological problems were caused by sexual abuse. Some people theorized that hypnosis would be a useful device with which to rewind a person’s memory of a traumatic incident to discover what had happened. Once this information was revealed, hypnosis could also help the person to vent out these memories and resolve his or her feelings about and reactions to the issue. Eventually, experts realized that this technique did not help either the client (alleged abuse victim) or lawyers to prosecute their cases. Memories are filled with distortion and amnesia; furthermore, a person under hypnosis is highly suggestible and becomes very eager to please the hypnotist. A highly emotional-suggestible client will infer that the hypnotist wants to hear certain information and will duly provide those details.

In some situations, age regression is considered a therapeutic technique: to help an adult remember a license plate after a car crash or to find a personal item that he or she lost several weeks ago. I also use it as part of an imagery exercise to remember every cigarette that the person has smoked when I help a client quit smoking. However, I do not use age regression to discover (or help my client discover) information or memories that the person is not ready to address. When a terrible trauma has occurred, a person knows how to breathe, sleep, eat and eliminate. If a memory is too traumatic, the mind creates a “scab” over that memory to protect the individual from further trauma or stress. Just like you wouldn’t pull a scab off of an abrasion, I do not use hypnosis to rip a similar scab off your mind. Again, since there is no way to prove the veracity of any memories that a person regains while under hypnosis, this information would not be allowed in a court of law.

My first responsibility to my clients is to do no harm. As a certified hypnotherapist, my role is to help them achieve a vocational or avocational self-improvement goal (California Business and Professions Code 2098). However, if a client spontaneously remembers a traumatic incident, I will use hypnosis to help him or her present reality more powerful than the past, and refer the person to a licensed psychologist or other medical professional for additional professional support in areas that are outside my own scope of expertise in hypnotherapy.

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Nutrition and Development of Phobias

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on January 14, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., low blood sugar can exacerbate or even be the cause of a person’s presenting problem. A sudden drop in blood sugar can trigger physical symptoms such as shaking, light-headedness and feeling tired. People can also experience psychological symptoms such as depression, paranoia, irritability and memory problems. This condition is often associated with triggering a phobic response and influencing the person’s suggestibility, which will increase his or her vulnerability to other factors in the environment, Dr. Kappas warned.

When someone seeks my help to overcome a phobia, I work with the person to desensitize the person to the stimuli that triggers his or her anxiety. I also suggest that the person should include more protein in the diet to help stabilize the blood-sugar level. Keep protein-rich foods such as almonds or peanuts, cheese or even a slice of turkey available to snack on between will meals to alleviate the physical symptoms described above. (Please consult your physician and/or a certified nutritionist for recommendations about an appropriate diet to manage low blood sugar).

“As the blood-sugar level stabilizes, the client’s anxieties will start dissipating on their own,” Dr. Kappas advised.

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Monday, February 20, 2023

The Origins of Fears and Phobias

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on April 2, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, PhD, every person is born with two specific fear reactions: fear of loud noises and fear of falling. Every other fear is a learned behavior. Although they have different origins, both fears and phobias can be very inconvenient and even debilitating until you can overcome and work through the anxiety that is associated with the specific stimuli (e.g., fear of dogs, water, spiders, flying, riding in elevators, etc.). Following is a brief description of each of these phenomena:

· Fears, which are generally formed earlier in life, are triggered by a specific event or exposure to the stimulus. Although a fear can develop during adulthood, it usually starts during childhood because children are typically more suggestible or impressionable. A fear is a rational response—the result of a traumatic experience—that is manifested by a very severe emotional reaction, such as changes in breathing or heart-rate. For example, perhaps you were bitten by a relative’s Chihuahua when you were a toddler and have carried a generalized fear of dogs ever since.

· Phobias can develop at any age, although they typically have a later onset than fears. Also, the person is aware that the phobic reaction is unnatural and even illogical, and the cause of the phobia cannot be traced to a particular event or trigger. Phobias, especially agoraphobia (fear of open spaces) are often associated with a sudden drop in blood-sugar level. When this happens, the body automatically “defends” itself by substituting adrenaline for glucose (sugar). The bloodstream carries and delivers this hormone to the organs, muscles and glands to activate the fight/flight or survival response. When blood-sugar levels are low, it is common to experience various physical symptoms such as nervousness, anxiety, dizziness, or nausea. In extreme cases, you may have a panic attack or even faint. Meanwhile, your subconscious mind automatically attaches significance to whatever you are doing or even your location when this discomfort sets in, and the phobia is born.

Hypnotherapy is a great modality with which to “unlearn” and change or replace these unwanted fear and phobia behaviors. When you are in hypnosis, I will guide you through a visualization exercise in which he or she “experiences” every phase of the fear/phobia response while systematically desensitizing him or her to the negative (trigger) stimulus. I also use imagery to replace the anxiety response (association) with the relaxation, calm and comfort the client is currently enjoying. Finally, I teach the individual how to create an emotional anchor that can be activated whenever he or she feels stressed or anxious. For more information about the relationship between nutrition and the development of phobias, please read my Nutrition and Development of Phobias blog.

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.