Defense Mechanisms: Denial

            A baseball player rejects the doctor’s diagnosis that even if the injury heals completely, the shoulder will never again be strong enough for pitching on a Major League Baseball team. A man refuses to believe that he is terminally ill and books a Mediterranean cruise for Christmas 2017. A mother continues to set a place for her daughter at the dinner table even though the girl ran away six years ago and has never contacted her family since she left home. You continue to wear your wedding band even though your spouse has just served you with divorce papers.

These are examples of denial, a defense mechanism in which the mind blocks external events from entering our awareness by abolishing (negating) their very existence to reduce fear of the unknown (“pain”). Like other defense mechanisms, denial is: 1) unconscious; 2) self-deceptive; 3) and it distorts reality through thoughts and action. “Change is a threat to the subconscious mind,” said John Kappas, Ph.D.  According to the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder’s Theory of Mind, everyone is subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. The primary role of a defense mechanism is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain” of having to deal with an unknown.

It is possible to successfully “avoid” suffering emotional pain by temporarily ignoring or refusing to accept its existence, and such denial can go on for a very long time. However, our level of success (comfort) in negating an unpleasant event or emotion can only exist as long as we continue to believe our subconscious deception. Over time, becomes increasingly difficult to nurture this defense mechanism as we continue to perceive and process more and more information (message units) to contradict our fictional reality. Eventually, we must address the primary issue that has triggered the defense mechanism in order to resolve it and achieve personal growth.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Holiday Baking

Photo (and cookie) by Sara Fogan

                I imagine that a lot of people have kept busy baking—or preparing to bake—treats for the holidays in the past week or so. I sure have!

                As I have gotten older, opening gifts has become less of an event for me than selecting, wrapping and giving presents. Especially baking holiday goodies: cookies, cakes, side dishes for the main meal… Whatever can be prepared with love and specific attention, I am totally there to do it. For me, this is the part of holiday cheer that really makes me smile and, well, puts me in the holiday spirit.

                Perhaps my enjoyment comes from the known of these activities and behaviors. Of course, certain family favorites are on the menu every year: Gingerbread men and sugar cookies cut out into various Christmas and Chanukah shapes are a given. (Nothing says Christmas like Gingerbread men, right?) Then come the chocolate-chip cookies, peanut-butter cookies and assorted other flavors per my craving. After watching my mom baking goodies and fussing with holiday decorations/preparations during my childhood, I came to associate the delicious smells emanating from the kitchen with the love and attention she put into it. Over the years, sifting flour, measuring sugar, cracking eggs, pouring the chocolate-chips into the batter, cutting out the shapes of gingerbread men all became ingrained in my mind as a subconscious known.

Every so often a new goodie would be added to the repertoire: lemon bars and “peppermint bark” are recent family favorites. But I remember how almost resistant I was to adding those new treats to my baking repertoire. Not because I thought it would be too much work, but because they were new (unknown) and not yet part of the family tradition. Yummy as I knew those new treats would be, I was a little reluctant to try a new recipe. What if the recipe was too complicated? What if the finished product didn’t look like the cookie in the picture? Yes, it was fear of the unknown; ultimately, thankfully—with a lot of practice making them—all of these recipes have worked out very well.

Now, rather than strictly follow a recipe I can rely on my mental scripts for holiday baking. Since I have been following this same behavior for so many years, I know I can trust my instinct (muscle memory) to adding just the right amount of a specific ingredient to the mix. Even more important, after “experimenting” with different versions that have come out of the oven over the years, I know what I can substitute (or not) and the recipe will still make a delectable treat.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Eat a Snack

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

I recently saw a television advertisement for Weight Watchers® that really summed up our often-complicated relationship with food. In it, different people are shown eating various yummy morsels while a take on the song “If You’re Happy” plays in the background. The lyrics cover a variety of emotions—happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, etc.—to correspond with eating a specific food item.

I think this is a very clever marketing tool because it subtly (and not-so-subtly) addresses our tendency to justify or cushion our emotions with food, which can lead to overeating. And isn’t that what so many of us do? The implication of this advertisement is that we learn to associate eating with satisfying or fulfilling an emotion. In this case, according to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, over time and with repeated exposure food becomes a “known” in our subconscious mental script. If your primary caretaker “rewarded” a good grade with your favorite meal, or offered you a bowl of ice cream when a beloved pet died, you likely developed a subconscious association between food and important life events.

In a similar way, food eventually becomes a subconscious emotional “anchor” that reminds us of comfort, nurturing and even encouragement or protection when times get tough. As adults, we continue this pattern by going out to eat to celebrate a promotion at work or devour a container of Ben and Jerry’s chocolate fudge-brownie ice cream to console ourselves after breaking up with a partner. And just like the song lyrics go, when we feel frustrated we ­reach for some potato chips and crunch through the entire bag as if devouring snack will also macerate the problem. Even if eating this way is no longer pleasurable for you, since the behavior is known, comfortable and safe you keep doing it.

For more information about how hypnotherapy can help you change unhealthy eating patterns and inappropriate associations with food and to take off extra weight, contact me at (661) 433-9430 or send an e-mail to calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com.

                       

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Eyes on the Ground

(This blog was originally posted on July 13, 2011)

 

 

 

 

        No matter who you are, everyone benefits from having someone observe you ride. Ideally, you can train with a riding instructor who can constructively critique your position, aids, etc. while you work with your horse. No matter how good or experienced an equestrian you are, it is almost impossible to notice every detail about your position or technique that another person’s experienced eye could easily see. There is nothing so valuable for improving your ride as receiving feedback—good or bad—at the precise moment you are asking for a movement. This kind of instruction can truly make all the difference in how you ride.

        Many years ago, figure skater Michelle Kwan decided to train without a skating coach. She had previously won a silver Olympic medal, and she owned many national and world championship titles. Surely, these experiences and her talent as a skater qualified her to work without a trainer. However, she did not skate so well on her own; within a year Miss Kwan re-hired her former coach and started winning medals again.

        Even trainers have trainers. At the very least, they acknowledge the philosophies of other horsemen who have influenced their own work with horses. In 2010, I was privileged to audit a couple of Jan Ebeling’s dressage clinics at Equine Affaire (Pomona). In addition to teaching his own students, he competes at Grand Prix dressage competitions around the world. At one point, Mr. Ebeling disclosed that in addition to being coached by his wife (also an accomplished dressage competitor), he sends videos of his training sessions to his own instructor…in Germany!

        I rode in my first horse show a few years ago. To prepare, I took taking riding lessons almost every day. I followed the mantra, “Perfect practice makes perfect performance,” and I relied on my then-trainer’s experience as a riding teacher and a successful competitor in dressage to help me prepare for this competition. I wanted to ride accurate tests on show-day, and I trusted Julie Van Loo’s insights as she advised me how to fine-tune my position and aids when I rode Candy through walk-trot transitions. She even corrected my mistakes before I even make them—or, at least before I was aware that I had made an error.

        As the tagline for those MasterCard® advertisements read, “Having a trainer to watch you ride: Priceless.”

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

 

Time Flies When I'm On-Line

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

                Scene #1: You’re sitting at your desk writing a report for work or a term paper when you realize that you need to find one more reference to complete your project. You steel yourself against temptation to browse the internet for anything unrelated to your question and type a key phrase into the Google or Bing search engines. “This should only take a couple minutes,” you tell yourself as you wait for the search results. Scene #2: You are answering a very important e-mail or posting a response on your Facebook page. Then, to your exasperation (but secret delight) you notice something very interesting on the Internet and decide to check out one more post.

In both scenarios, not only have you forgotten what you were originally looking for but an hour (or several) has passed. Where did all that time go? And why—how—could so much time pass without your even noticing?

If your answer or explanation was “hypnosis,” you are right. While you were on-line, all those images and words that you were looking at on the screen gradually, subtly overloaded your subconscious mind with information (message units). Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D. explained that this phenomenon occurs when sensory stimuli bombard the subconscious mind with information (message units). This sensory overload disorganizes the inhibitory process of the subconscious mind, which triggers the fight-flight response and produces the hyper-suggestible state we recognize as hypnosis.

As I explained in my blog titled “Natural States of Hypnosis,” there are many common instances of this trance-state. I think computers and smartphones, which have operating systems and web-browsing capabilities, likely induce a form of environmental hypnosis whenever we go on-line. The instant we connect to the internet, the subconscious mind is confronted with a cornucopia of information. Somehow it must interpret and process messages that often includes audio and visual data designed to pull browsers into the virtual worlds they are exploring. Then there’s the tactile (touch) stimuli that the mind must process as you type on the keyboard and manipulate the cursor, whether that is the computer “mouse” or the index finger on one of your hands. A final source of this data overload will come from your conscious mind: whatever you are thinking about or your motivation to conduct that on-line search or interact with friends is an important source of subconscious overload. Many of us eat or drink, or simultaneously talk to someone on the telephone while we are doing internet searches or interacting with friends and acquaintances on-line. It’s no wonder that the conscious mind temporarily “checks out” until there is less sensory stimulation going on.

When we come out of this trance-like state, we may feel temporarily disoriented and even forget where we are for a little while. Following are some tips to help you remain aware of yourself and your physical environment while you are on-line so you can be alert and aware of yourself and your surroundings when you (finally) log off.

·         Limit the amount of time you spend working on the computer. Take a break from the activity every hour or so: put the device on sleep mode (or silent mode, for the smart phones) and walk away from the screen. Work on another task for a little while or at least take a genuine break or time-out from the on-line conversations and hashtag trends.

·         Regularly count yourself out of this hypnotic state while you are working on the computer, etc. Say to yourself: “One, two, three, four, five. Eyes open [say your name], wide awake and in a fully alert and aware state.” Repeat this mantra as necessary.

·         Stand up and stretch and take deep breaths. Do jumping jacks or run in place for a minute to get your body moving and switch your focus and awareness to your physical environment.

·         While you are working or interacting on a social-media site, eat nutritious snacks that contain protein to keep your mood even and reduce your suggestibility to things you see, hear or read while you are on-line. (For more information about the role between nutrition and suggestibility, go to my blog titled “Nutrition and the Development of Phobias.”)

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Application of Theory of Mind in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Part 2

                Yesterday, I identified several applications of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind in the 1964 stop-action film, Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer. In the first part of this blog, I focused on Dr. Kappas’s model in the context of how the characters interacted with each other and dealt with challenges in their environment. Here I will address the ways in which details in the story satisfy the audience’s expectations about the characters’ behavior, especially by anthropomorphizing the non-human characters’ beliefs and behaviors.

·         First, the narrator of the movie, Sam the Snowman, tells the audience that a Christmas tree isn’t a Christmas tree without tinsel. Then, when Rudolph runs away from home and Donner decides to search for his son, the reindeer tells Rudolph’s mother that she must remain in the cave to wait because the search will be dangerous. A couple times, Donner and even Sam the Snowman refer to the search as being “men’s work” and that the male reindeer need to “protect the women.” Sexism aside, isn’t a female reindeer a “doe”?

·         Remember that tuft of bright yellow hair that I noticed sprouting between the tiny antlers of Dasher, Rudolph’s new friend at the reindeer tryouts? The “hairstyle” was probably very popular among young boys when the movie came out. As for “Coach” Comet’s baseball hat and whistle, we’re used to seeing these items on coaches and referees at human sports events. Incorporating these details on the reindeer helped to make the scene more relatable for the child audience that would have been watching the movie.

·         People of any age would recognize and even empathize with the more serious theme of bullying that Rudolph, Hermey the Elf and the characters on the Island of Misfit Toys endure. To this day, whenever I watch the movie or listen to the song, I feel a twinge of sadness and even anger about the teasing and ostracism that they endure before their differences are accepted and appreciated.

·         When we meet mineral prospector Yukon Cornelius, he values silver and gold above all else. He has been alone in the wilderness for so long in his pursuit wealth that it’s almost incredible that he would even know how to talk to Rudolph and Hermey, let alone forge a friendship with them. I don’t think it’s an accident that Cornelius is depicted as being socially isolated, perhaps the consequence of a single-minded pursuit of achieving his goal even though he also nurtured a desire to connect with others. The fact that this character is able to ultimately make friends and even join the community in Christmas Town is a hopeful metaphor for the many individuals who feel isolated and alone at this time of year.

·         The characters that live on the Island of Misfit Toys initially doubt that their dream of finding homes with children who will love them can or will ever come true. They don’t even believe it when they first hear the reindeer’s bells as they pull Santa’s sleigh and see the glow from Rudolph’s red nose. Their disbelief stems from their previous experience of being disappointed every Christmas Eve; the idea of finally being delivered to a home on Christmas morning is unknown and likely even a little bit scary. It is emotionally safer to feel disappointment when you know that a wish won’t be realized than to feel even more hurt by allowing yourself to believe that it might come true and then it doesn’t happen after all.

 

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Application of Theory of Mind in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Part 1

 

                One of my favorite holiday traditions is to watch the 1964 stop-action film, Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer. After repeating this activity since I was a very young child, it is now a subconscious known for me. So, on Saturday night I curled up in front of the television and sipped an eggnog latte while I enjoyed the familiar story one more time. For fun, I tried to notice “new” things in and about the show that I might have overlooked in previous viewings. I did: I saw a tuft of bright yellow hair sprouting between the tiny antlers of Dasher, Rudolph’s new friend at the reindeer tryouts. And then it dawned on me that that Comet, the “coach” of the reindeer tryouts, was sporting a baseball cap as well as a whistle. How had I never spotted those details before?

I know from my hypnotherapy training that it is normal and natural to not notice every aspect or characteristic about a person or an event. There are so many physical stimuli in the world that we could perceive that being consciously aware of each sensation would be completely overwhelming. To protect us from this kind of overload, the subconscious mind automatically associates and characterizes information (message units) as being “known,” or familiar; and “unknown,” or unfamiliar. Over time, we automatically ignore the known information because after repeated exposure, the SCM knows there is no associated danger with the stimulus and it can focus on other things. Conversely, a new piece of information can signify danger, and we will respond to that stimulus defensively until we feel safe and comfortable again.

This model forms the basis of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind. According to Dr. Kappas, the subconscious part of the mind is uncomfortable about and resistant to doing new or different things even when the conscious mind (logic, reason, will-power/free-will and reasoning) says that it’s okay to do so. The SCM likes and wants to stick to what is familiar, comforting and safe: i.e., what it knows. Guess what? The characters in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer seemed to behave according to their own specific set of known and unknown message units, too. Furthermore, the characters’ attitudes and behaviors mirrored a lot of our own (e.g., bullying, low self-esteem, specific beliefs about the holidays). Following are more of my observations about the program in the context of Dr. Kappas’s Theory of Mind.

·         When Rudolph is born, his father, Donner, is horrified that his son has a shiny red nose. No other reindeer has a red nose. Even Santa Claus initially dismisses Rudolph as being eligible as a member of the sleigh team because of it. Donner immediately fashions a cover for the young buck’s nose to conceal Rudolph’s “nonconformity.” However, when the cover slips off to reveal Rudolph’s shiny nose after the flying tryouts (which he wins), his peers laugh at and ostracize him.

·         Meanwhile, back at Santa’s Castle, an elf named Hermey is having a hard time in the workshop. His boss and colleagues ridicule him because he wants to be a dentist, not a toymaker.

·         Even though their characteristics and talents are different (unknown) to each other, the fact that Hermey and Rudolph are social outcasts in their communities enables them to bond over this shared status. Later on, they also befriend Yukon Cornelius, a nonconforming mineral prospector who goes with them to the Island of Misfit Toys in hopes of finding someplace they all do fit in.

·         The Abominable Snow Monster of the North (The Bumble) is initially presented as a fearsome beast that only wants to ruin Christmas and probably bring physical harm to other creatures. He is huge with shaggy white fur, sharp teeth and long claws. The first time we see The Bumble, Donner is teaching Rudolph the fine art of being a reindeer. Suddenly there is a ferocious roar; after evading the Snow Monster by hiding behind a snowdrift, Donner tells his son how dangerous the monster is and that everyone must always be careful to avoid it. He doesn’t explain why the Bumble is so frightening and dangerous, but the young buck immediately files the information his father provided and the memory of his terrifying near-encounter with the beast as a new known. By the way, this scene is a great example of how youngsters develop their suggestibility.

·         Ultimately, as they become more familiar with each other’s differences, they become more comfortable with and even appreciative of their individual talents and characteristics. For example, Hermey the Elf’s dentistry skills also prove useful in rescuing Rudolph and his family when he removes all of the Abominable Snow Monster’s sharp teeth. Not only does this action make the Bumble far less scary to the citizens of Christmas Town, but also reveals the gentle creature he really wants to be. Meanwhile, Yukon Cornelius discovers that The Bumble’s secret wish is to be useful, and since he really is a nice guy and conveniently very tall, he’s given a job placing the star on top of Santa’s Christmas tree.

Of course, Rudolph’s shiny red nose wins everyone over when Santa realizes that the now-famous reindeer is the only one that can save Christmas by turning on his bright nose to guide the sleigh through a ferocious blizzard. And this outcome is probably the most famous “known” in the story—now legend—of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014