The Gift

(This blog was originally posted on December 1, 2016)

“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.

That is why they call it ‘the present.’” – Unknown

My grandfather liked to quote the above saying from time to time, but I never really understood the true meaning of that sentiment until I became an adult. Even now it can still sometimes be tough to find a positive aspect to a difficult or challenging situation after the fact, let alone at the time it is going on. However, it is this ability to see the “bright side” or even find a hidden blessing in misfortune that increases our courage, fortitude and ability to handle or even avoid a similar situation in the future.

Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D. often advised people to “turn it around!” when they were faced with an uncomfortable or difficult situation. Rather than focus on the unpleasant details or challenges you might be experiencing at the moment, look for a positive aspect/redeeming quality or lesson that could be learned from it. If you have a misunderstanding with a family member or even a colleague at work, consider what circumstances led up to the argument. Perhaps you or the other person misunderstood the meaning or intent behind something that was said. The lesson or “gift” of that experience would be that in the future, you would be more thoughtful and careful about what and how you communicated a thought or idea. You would also understand that it might be prudent to ask questions and clarify the meaning of what you believe you heard or saw before making any judgment about an incident.

But the greatest benefit of considering the present as a true gift is that you can approach each new day and situation with appreciation for the opportunities, wisdom and pleasure the experience can offer. The subconscious mind may try to challenge this more carefree, appreciative perspective about the unknown with cautionary memories about a similar situation that may not have worked out. You may even experience uncomfortable physiological symptoms of anxiety that are further exacerbated by a sudden drop in blood-sugar level if you happen to be hungry at the time. But this reaction is merely the subconscious mind’s reference to a previous subconscious mental script that likes and wants to attach old meanings to a new experience. No matter how many similarities exist between those experiences to make the outcome somewhat predictable, each one is inherently unique and therefore deserves to be enjoyed and appreciated for what it is: A gift.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Forgiveness

(This blog was originally posted on September 15, 2014)

Image courtesy of Microsoft

Have you ever got stuck in a blame-game with someone, refusing to accept some responsibility for your role in the situation or to accept the other person’s apology for hurting you? Do you ever hold onto the anger and emotional pain about something that occurred so long ago that you don’t even feel those emotions anymore but keep holding onto them because…you don’t even know why? Would you be willing to let go of all that negative energy if you knew this release would help you feel better, to be at peace and free you from the emotional baggage you have been dragging around? 

I recently saw this quote from Inspirationboost.com, and it really resonated with me: “Forgive. Not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” 

At some point during our lifetime, someone hurts us. This injury may be physical or metaphoric, intentional or accidental, but long after the physical wounds have healed some emotional scars continue to feel raw. To assuage this pain and gain a sense of control over what happened, we may claim that the injury was justified or believe that we somehow brought it on ourselves. Indeed, it can be very difficult to see past this pain when someone you once cared about is hurling verbal and legal barbs your way during an acrimonious divorce or dissolution of a business or social relationship. You may even resent and even guilt/shame for having ever trusted him or her with your heart (and your finances).

The problem with holding onto these negative emotions is you are the one who continues to suffer emotional pain long after the relationship is ended and you and the other person have parted ways for good. Whenever you dwell on the negative events that happened during the relationship and the sadness or anger that you felt at the time, you reinforce the strength and the habit of feeling (and feeding) those negative emotions. This continued bombardment of thoughts, memories and negative associations with the past relationship overloads the conscious mind, triggering the fight/flight mechanism and putting you in an even more hyper-suggestible state (hypnosis). Since we are most suggestible to ourselves, every time we repeat a thought or behavior you reinforce its strength and power in your subconscious mind. In other words, you are hypnotizing yourself to perpetuate this unwanted behavior. Ultimately, the most effective way to heal from that hurt is to forgive the person who inflicted it so you can pursue the life that you want and deserve to be living.

       

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

     Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “You don’t have to go back to who you were before your trauma. You can go forward to become someone really terrific after.” – Michele Rosenthal

• “Forgive the past. It is over. Learn from it and let go.” – Brian Weiss

• “Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.” – Demosthenes

• “Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.” – Josh Billings

• “Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi

• “Allow yourself to be a beginner; no one starts off being excellent.” – Lolly Daskal

• “Being fearless precisely when you are the most scared is the best hack.” – James Altucher

• “Everything you want is out there waiting ... Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it.” – Jack Canfield

• “Self-esteem begins and ends with you. The more you know about yourself the less moved you'll be by the opinions of others.” – B. Dilley

• “You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it’s better to listen to what it has to say.” – Paulo Coehlo

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2017