Monday, January 16, 2017

The Systems Approach in 'Art'





(Spoiler Alert: I reveal an important plot detail in this blog. Please
do not read this essay if you plan to see the it!)







What would you do if one of your best friends spent a fortune—€100 million to be exact—to invest in a painting? Not just any painting, mind you; this one is a white pallet painted white and features a bunch of tiny diagonal white lines all the way across. The artist is famous for his Avant Gard subjects and this piece is characterized (in the catalog, anyway) as a “one-in-a-million” collector’s item. Be that as it may, anyone’s willingness to pay so much money, let alone actually liking the painting—is beyond your comprehension. But this is exactly what your friend has done, and all hell has broken loose.

This is the plot of Art, a comedy by Yasmina Reza and currently running at The Old Vic Theatre in London. It stars Tim Key (Yvan), Paul Ritter (Marc) and Rufus Sewell (Serge) as three longtime friends whose relationship literally melts down when Serge purchases the painting in question. Somehow, an essentially blank canvas sparks new and reignites old resentments. Petty irritations with each other (and their respective romantic partners) bubble to the surface until Marc makes a stunning confession: he always considered his friendship with Serge as one of mentor and mentee. He cannot understand or even forgive Serge (the mentee) for drifting so far out of his influence to have bought, let alone actually like that painting, an attraction that Marc doesn’t even understand. Needless to say, Serge is stunned and hurt to learn about the true nature/basis of his relationship with Marc. Can this friendship be saved?

This dilemma is best characterized through the Systems Theory model. Here, changes in one person’s behavior can affect the basic structure of the relationship or system with other people in the relationship, thus creating resistance within it. Even a tiny change in the social/emotional system will affect every part of the entire system. In other words, you cannot separate one component of the system from the sub-total or entire system.

In Art, the presenting issue is one friend’s (questionable) investment in a painting. However, the true conflict is actually each man’s perceived lack of control over the personal areas of their own and each others' lives in contrast with their successful professional ones. According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., no matter what a person’s problem or issue happens to be, the systems approach infiltrates all areas of therapy. Even if only one of these men sought hypnotherapy to work through this conflict about Serge’s painting, it would have to be dealt with within the context of the person’s friendship with the other men. Therefore, the hypnotherapist must address components in his work, relationships, family past, the hypnotherapy he is receiving, plus specific aspects of that conflict in the friendship. Unless these other issues are taken into account, the overall therapy won’t be successful and only the issue being addressed in therapy would be “treated” (improved or eliminated) without achieving genuine resolution of the conflict, Dr. Kappas warned.

A final caveat: In legal, ethical and practical terms the hypnotherapist would not and could not hypnotize Serge to stop liking the painting unless he wanted to do so. To remain friends with him, Marc and Yvan need to accept their friend’s attachment to the painting, or their relationship will eventually, naturally dissolve.



Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2017

Friday, January 13, 2017

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara R. Fogan





      Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.


  • “The two most important days in a person's life are the day they are born, and the day they discover why.” – Mark Twain

  • “The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of the state of your mind.” Wayne Dyer

  • “Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” Eckhart  Tolle

  • “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • “Life is about living, not living someday.” – Bille Baty

  • “There is a difference, a profound difference, between having a plan and having a purpose.” – Bruce Van Horn

  • “If I had asked what people wanted, they would have said faster horses.” – Henry Ford

  • “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill

  • “Talent is like electricity. We don't understand electricity. We use it.” Maya Angelou




Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2017     

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Why Quitting Is So Hard to Do



(This blog was originally posted on June 11, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead



Your teenage daughter promises to stop procrastinating in completing her homework assignments, but “forgets” to turn in a final project on the last day of school. A colleague at work announces that he is on a new diet to lose a few more pounds while he nibbles a piece of pizza during a social at work. You sneak a quick drag on your friend’s cigarette even though you officially quit smoking eight months ago. You wonder what these behaviors are all about while that famous line from Brokeback Mountain reverberates in your mind: “I can’t quit you!”

Recently I shared a link on my Facebook account that illustrates the benefits of quitting smoking. Several people indicated that “liked” the post. Seeing this response made me think about how much hard work and dedication it takes for a person to permanently change a behavior or give up a longtime habit. Nicotine, caffeine and alcohol are commercially available and are fairly easy to obtain; they are also habit-forming and addictive substances. It is also argued that some processed foods include ingredients that manufacturers hope will trigger consumers’ cravings to eat more and more of that product. But the adrenaline rush or high that we get when we participate in a favorite sport or the surge of endorphins we feel when we are in love occur naturally and these experiences can be equally addictive.

The challenge in trying to change or replace unwanted behaviors is that we generally don’t want to stop doing something that feels good, even if the sensation of “pleasure” lasts for an even shorter duration every time we experience it. The motivation to stop doing something we enjoy or that makes us feel good drops even more if we associate specific ideas or outcomes with that behavior. For example, your belief that smoking prevents overeating may trump your desire to quit smoking in order to avoid gaining weight. Or, you may ignore your doctor’s advice to lose weight to prevent getting diabetes because you believe that your­ extra pounds will insulate you from intimacy or protect you from suffering another broken heart if the relationship doesn’t work out.

Regardless of your conscious motivation to change a belief or behavior, your subconscious mind is fighting even harder to continue to follow the subconscious mental scripts that have been directing those actions that you want to replace. Furthermore, the longer you have been doing whatever it is you can’t or don’t want to stop doing, the harder it is to replace that behavior with one that will help you achieve your vocational and avocational self-improvement goals. Whether you smoke, overeat, procrastinate/miss deadlines or constantly starting new relationships so you can re-experience the excitement of being in love, your subconscious mind follows that familiar mental script so you can continue to experience that familiar known (pleasure). Fortunately mental scripts can be rewritten and behaviors can be replaced; and hypnosis and hypnotherapy can help you make this change.
               
SPECIAL OFFER!
I am currently offering a 10 percent discount on all hypnotherapy for smoking-cessation sessions. This offer is good through January 31, 2017 and is not exchangeable for cash. For more information and to set up an appointment, please contact me at (661) 433-9430 or send an e-mail to calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com. I look forward to hearing from—and working with—you soon!




Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2017