Your Definition of Success

(This blog was originally posted on September 3, 2014)

“The secret of success is to be ready when your 

opportunity comes.” – Benjamin Disraeli

     Everybody has a different idea about success. You might define success as having a loving family and being surrounded by good friends. For some people, being successful means that they have achieved a high status or received accolades for their work. For others, success means earning a lot of money and being wealthy. Regardless of how you define it, it is unlikely that you are the only person in your environment that has an opinion about what success really means. And, once again, your (and everyone else’s) definition of success comes down to your mental script and the subconscious knowns that created it.

     John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind explains how a person’s early-life experiences create the subconscious knowns that form the foundation of his or her life script. Our understanding and experience of success is created the same way. The founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute explained how, from a very early age, we associate a literal or metaphoric value to specific events that occur during our lifetime. Perhaps we are lavished with verbal praise and profuse expression of affection from a parent or caregiver when we do well, or we are given a monetary reward for earning good grades at school. Over time, we create an association between that thing we did well (or poorly) and other people’s response to that behavior. We also learn to associate our own feelings (pride, shame) about that performance and people’s response to what we have done. Furthermore, as we create an intrinsic association between our valuation of success and failure, and reward and consequences, we also develop expectations about how other people should value that kind of performance. Our self-confidence and self-esteem may even take a hit when other people do not acknowledge the quality of our work. 

     Regardless of the way you consciously evaluate, describe and categorize success, your subconscious mind has troves of associations between your idea of it and how it physically, emotionally and even spiritually feels to “succeed.” Even if you have recently experienced myriad financial setbacks, if your known association of success means having a good job and earning a high salary, your subconscious mind is primed to seek and recognize an opportunity to have that, again. If your idea of success is to have a loving relationship and fulfilling family life, trust your subconscious “knowns” of this experience to attract this for you again. However, if your subconscious life script isn’t consistent with your goals, dreams or expectations, maybe it is time to rewrite that script. Changing your strategy for achieving your goals does not mean you have succeeded any less. Rather, you have probably scored a greater achievement for recognizing something wasn’t working and making appropriate adjustments to make your dream come true. Going back to Former British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli’s sage advice, the secret to success—whatever your definition of it may be—is to always be looking for and ready to take a good opportunity when it is presented. The outcome may be even better than the one you originally imagined.

               

               

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

Mimicry. Imitation. Communication.

(This blog was originally posted on September 2, 2014)

Photo by Jennifer Berkowitz

     I recently witnessed something very interesting. While I was hanging out with my horse yesterday, a crow sitting on a branch in the tree beside me started to imitate the “honk” of some geese that belong to a  next door to my trainer’s property. I know that crows are exceptionally bright, but I have never seen or heard anything like that. I don’t believe that this was just a case of mimicry, either: the crow deliberately honked to the goose several times as if trying to get the other bird’s attention. When it finally responded, the crow honked right back a few times and then waited for the goose to communicate again. Meanwhile, another crow nearby cawed at the original one in the tree; the first crow responded in kind a few times and then resumed its calls to the goose. How cool is that?

     This incident made me think about the different ways people imitate another person's voice in speech and in song. Not just the words someone else says but also even the tone, pitch, rhythm/cadence of the words and even regional dialect or accent. Why do we do this, and how—and when—do we know that we are getting it right? For example, when I lived in England while I worked on my post-graduate degree, I gradually developed a slight lilt in my voice. I didn’t notice this change in my speech until I returned to the United States and people commented that I had developed a cool accent while I was away. This change made perfect sense, as the people with whom I worked, lived and socialized were British; over time, my subconscious mind accepted these accents as a new known and I eventually adopted it (or a version of it) as my own.

 

     Similarly, I often sing along when a favorite song comes on the radio or my iPod. My conscious mind knows that I do not sound anything Celine Dion, Annie Lennox, Katy Perry, Bon Jovi or Tim McGraw, but I still try to imitate those singers’ voices when I’m singing along to their songs. Why won’t my subconscious mind let me give up that ghost and sing without trying to sound like someone I’m not? Even when I consciously try to sing in my own voice, in the back of my mind I can still imagine hearing what one of those performers sound like and I catch myself trying to sing the same way.

 

     My answer to that question may be found in Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind. Dr. Kappas stated that from the moment we are born we start to develop a subconscious life script by learning specific behaviors through association and identification. Even though most of this script is written by the time we are about eight years old, the mind continues to take in more information which the subconscious mind may accept or reject. For example, we learned how to talk by associating and identifying specific words that a primary caretaker taught us, and then we imitated this behavior (e.g., how to move our mouths to create words) to speak. Over time, we also modeled other people to learn and correct our pronunciation and increase our vocabulary. Many parents or caretakers sing to their young children, which may explain people’s fondness for listening to music and singing, or participating in these activities ourselves. And, just like we did when we learned how to speak, once we learn the words to a song we like we subconsciously imitate the way the singer performs the lyrics.

 

     I wonder if the crow I observed yesterday was unintentionally imitating the neighbor’s goose to communicate with the other bird the same way humans do in speech and song.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

With Your Permission (And Only With Your Permission), Part 2

(This blog was originally posted on January 21, 2014)

         I could not believe it.  Sunday night, right before my (and thousands of viewers’) eyes, a random hypnotist essentially ambushed a beloved character of the television series I was watching. Bam! Right in the middle of a critical scene in the episode, the hypnotist addressed the character by name, gave a command (eye fascination) and did a rapid induction to knock him out long enough for critical elements of the plot to make sense and the storyline to move along. Following are my reasons why this scene worked—and made sense—in the context of Hypnosis Motivati­on Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s definition of hypnosis and the following key elements of the plot:

1.       According to Dr. Kappas, hypnosis is “[a state] created by an overload of message units that disorganizes our inhibitory process (critical mind), triggering our fight/flight mechanism and ultimately resulting in a hyper-suggestible state [that provides] access to the subconscious mind.” The character was distraught and in a state of high anxiety when the hypnotist approached him. He didn’t want to/wouldn’t physically leave the scene, but this opportunity for temporary “escape” into hypnosis was an easy way to escape the trauma and drama going on around him.

2.       The hypnotist was calm and in control—and took control of the situation. He spoke the protagonist’s name and commanded the character to look at him.

3.       The hypnotist appeared to use a variation of the direct-gaze shock induction to hypnotize the protagonist. This is a legitimate rapid-induction technique in which a hypnotist has the person look him in the eye and supports his or her upper body during the physical aspect of the induction.

4.       The hypnotist used the key phrase, “deep sleep” that is typically employed during hypnosis. At the end of the scene, once key plot details had been resolved, the hypnotist counted the character back up to full awareness.

When I saw this scene unfold every cell in my body screamed “foul!” at the irresponsible depiction and unethical/immoral application of hypnosis. The technique that the hypnotist employed, and the context in which he used it, was in no way hypnotherapy. However, considering the protagonist’s overwrought emotional state and the activity going on around him, it was easy to understand how this scene was a perfect example of Dr. Kappas’ explanation of how and why hypnosis works. I think the inclusion of a rogue hypnotist doing a rapid induction to temporarily overwhelm the character’s already-overloaded subconscious mind was an ingenious, extra detail that will keep fans talking about this episode for a long time.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

With Your Permission (and Only With Your Permission), Part 1

(This blog was originally posted on January 20, 2014)

     If you do not want to be hypnotized—whether you do not believe that hypnosis will work for you or resist being hypnotized because you are afraid—you won’t be. I repeat the statement, “with your permission and only your permission” throughout the session to remind my clients that they can choose to be hypnotized and actualize their desired behavior changes. I also use my clients’ own words to reinforce their emotions, reasons and motivations for making these changes. As a certified hypnotherapist, I use hypnosis is a tool to help you change behaviors that no longer work for you and replace them with behaviors, strategies, etc. that you want and believe will improve your quality of life. During hypnosis, you are completely aware of everything going on around you. If you wouldn’t say or do something when you are completely alert, you would not and could not be made to do anything in hypnosis that opposes your beliefs, morals and ethical principles.

     Therefore, I tend to be very critical of how and why hypnosis is depicted on television and in movies: a protagonist is “commanded” to do something that is completely out of character; the hypnotist erases and then replaces a character’s memory with a new, fictitious personal history and personality; or a person is “hypnotized” to behave in a particular way simply to move the plot along. In these scenarios, the character is completely unaware that he has been hypnotized; he just carries out the hypnotist’s bidding and does whatever needs to be done to move the plot along. Imagine my surprise that I not only bought the hypnosis-ambush of a character in a popular detective series, but it made absolute sense why this scenario worked and was believable.

               

               

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapywww.hypnosis.edu® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015